Here’s my contribution to this week’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers.
Jessica felt the knot in her stomach tighten as the house came into view between the thick hedges veiling it from the outside world. White Manor. It had been in her family for longer than anyone could remember, growing fat on the memories made within its walls.
She had stayed away for almost 20 years, the last visit being for her Uncle Austin’s funeral. This time she had no choice, as her great- aunt had surprised everyone by naming Jessica as her sole heir. Her relatives thought that she had ingratiated herself to the old woman and taken advantage of her. But Jessica knew that it was the house which had chosen her.
The car crunched to a halt in front of the main doors. Jessica sat while the driver walked around to open her door – prolonging the inevitable for as long as she could. The scent of roses hit her as she stepped out of the cab. She was home.
words: 161
tastyniblets 
Excellent story and so well written
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Thankyou Cat, so glad that you liked it- it felt a bit incomplete to me so Im glad that it still reads well 🙂
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I agree with Cat. This is an excellent story and well-written. You write like an “established” writer. Very good!
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Aw thankyou Joy- that is such a lovely compliment, I really appreciate it. I just love to write..:)
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Love this line: “But Jessica knew that it was the house which had chosen her.”
It reads like it could be the beginning of a longer story. Might be interesting to explore how the house chooses its owner, why Jessica feels uneasy about taking over, if you feel so inclined. Nicely done!
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Thanks Sonya, I think I will work on this one a bit more, it feels a bit too incomplete to me at thr moment.. 🙂
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I agree with Sonya. This is a great twist to being “the chosen one.” I’d keep reading to see what happens next and why/how this house picked her as it’s next guardian or victim 😮
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Thanks Izzy- I’m pretty excited that others want to know more in this one- when I wrote it, it felt like it could become a bigger story so Ill have a play with it..
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This reads like the beginning of something very spooky indeed. Are you planning to develop it?
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Ive had some great feedback on this one, and it feels incomplete to me at the moment so I think I will work on it a bit more and see where it heads..
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This story has so much bulk in it, I can already sense the potential. Nicely done!
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Thank for the encouragement Ameena! 🙂
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You’ve told this story vey well, Az, and given us some insight into Jessica’s charcter and situation. I really like the ending: ‘The scent of roses hit her as she stepped out of the cab. She was home.’ That’s lovely. 🙂
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Thankyou Millie I’m glad you enjoyed this one! 🙂
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I like your story. It sounds like it is the beginning of a great novel.
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Thanks Susan 🙂 the positive feedback I’ve had has encouraged me to give this one a bit more thought- I’m playing with an idea to flesh out the story a bit more 🙂
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‘..growing fat on the memories made within its walls’ is a great line. I really enjoyed reading your work. 🙂
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Thanks Kathryn, lovely of you to say so! 🙂
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I don’t think I’d like to live there either. I wonder why she’s stayed away for 20 years? I too liked the part where the house has chosen her and also “growing fat on the memories made within its walls.”
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Thanks for the feedback Rachel! Your question may well be answered soon.. :p
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Creepy. I like that the house had chosen her. Were the roses something that was actually there or a scent that the place embodied?
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I was thinking along the lines of the scent being linked with the house- like a phantom scent. Ive been playing around with an idea in my head and think this could be developed into bigger story. Jessica, and another main character – the antagonist being a character called Rose.
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You should do it. They make great inspiration pieces.
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Its been great to get encouragement from everyone else.. You know what its like when youre writing something, it looks good to you but you worry about how it will be received!
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Definitely. It works both ways. Sometimes you think it’s awful and everyone loves it or you think it’s awesome and every one has some way to improve it. But I think everyone is pretty supportive and positive about their notes. I’d never written flash fiction before this challenge and I think over the past five weeks I’ve gotten better 🙂
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Same- and its the perfect way to get the rusty wheels turning again. I havent done any creative writing in years, but having a community of like minded people around is the best way to keep going 🙂
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The house had chosen her. Interesting I’d like to read more.
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Hi Tasty niblets! I just wanted to stop by and thank you for participating in these challenges. I sure hope you will continue! I enjoy reading your stories!
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Thankyou for providing such fun prompts/challenges Joy- they’ve certainly reignited my love for writing! See you next week 🙂
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I’m glad they have reignited your love for writing! That is awesome!
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Love the pic and love your writing. I was particularly taken with: “growing fat on the memories made within its walls.” – Nice!
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Thankyou! Lovely of you to say so 🙂
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Great flash fiction!
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Thankyou!
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