Tag Archives: satire

Mondays Finish the Story- The Unenthusiastic Helper

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Here’s my contribution to this week’s Mondays Finish the Story challenge provided by Barbara Beecham. It’s a frivolous tale, but I’m working on a dark, depressing story behind the scenes at the moment, and needed some comic relief.. 🙂

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, the god of the underworld was flossing his teeth when there was a knock on the door. “Evening sir, I’m Allen from Bunged Up Plumbing Services.. you rang about a water leak?”

The god of the underworld led Allen around to the back of his house and showed him the view.

“Right. Looks like you’ve got a bit of a problem here sir.”

The god of the underworld turned to Allen. “As you can see, hell is flooded. Winter, as we know, is coming and I can’t afford to let the place freeze over, as that has serious implications for my reputation. So you need to fix it.” He gave Allen the look of death. “Now.”

“Well this looks like a pretty big job, don’t think I could do it right now.. I’ll need to find the leak, give you a quote… could take a few days..”

The next day, Allen was dead.

Monday’s Finish the Story- Hungry Work

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Here’s my contribution to this week’s Monday’s Finish the Story prompt from Barbara Beacham. Bit over the word limit today, as pizza proved to be quite a difficult prompt to write about. Would love to hear your thoughts 🙂

March 15, 44 BC, Rome, Italy

“Pizza anyone?”

“I can’t believe you feel like eating after what we’ve just done.” Decimus stared at the carnage around them. “I feel sick.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Marc shrugged. “Stabbing is hungry work, and I missed breakfast.. Sure you don’t want anything? Garlic Bread?”

“No, I’m fine thanks.” Decimus looked queasy as he flopped down onto the marble steps. “I’m just going to stick my head in a bucket and throw up.”

“Suit yourself. Anyone else? Albinus? Longinus?”

“I am a bit peckish actually” Longinus looked up from cleaning his hands. “I’ll have a margarita extra cheese.”

“Do they do gluten free?” Albinus was sipping wine to calm his nerves.

“Albinus, pizza is made with dough. Of course they don’t do gluten free.”

“Well get me a salad then. No tomato. I don’t like tomato”

“Fine..Hello? can I order some delivery please. Address is 1 Consul Way. It’s Brutus. B-R-U-T-U-S. I’ll have a large BBQ Meatlovers, Large Supreme, Margarita extra cheese. And a salad, no tomato. Thanks.”